Are the kids all right? Are the kids going to be all right? Ariana Grandeand Pete Davidson, two kids, are reportedly engaged to be married. Us Weekly says it’s so—says they were telling people at Robert Pattinson’s birthday party in Los Angeles on Saturday. Bet you didn’t think Robert Pattinson would be involved in the fairy tale. Well, he is. This life is mysterious and surprising, and just when you think things are shuffling along normally, the president embarks for peace talks with the leader of North Korea, and a songstress from South Florida agrees to spend the rest of her life with a Saturday Night Live star from Staten Island.
The 24-year-olds recently broke up with their respective significant others (rapper Mac Miller for Grande, writer Cazzie David for Davidson), and have been dating for a few weeks. They bonded over their shared love of Harry Potter, and he got a tattoo of the Dangerous Woman bunny mask behind his ear. How many red flags are in those last few sentences? Not counting the Harry Potter part, though. That’s pretty standard. Honestly, it’d be a red flag if two young millennials did not announce their relationship at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Actually, forget all the red-flag stuff. They don’t need the public’s hand-wringing worry on their behalf—they’re practically adults!
Grande has a nice sense of humor about the interest in their relationship, which has exploded ever since they came clean on social media in late May. On Saturday, she captioned a photo of them on Instagram, “i am but a pete davidson update acc stay tuned for more (pete follows / comments sumtimes).” He commented, “thanks for making this idiot from staten island the happiest boy on earth.”
Since the engagement report broke, she has tweeted neither a confirmation nor denial, but several see-no-evil monkey emojis.
At the time of writing, she also liked two tweets from fans congratulating her. Are the kids messing with us? Are they having a laugh? Are they taking the piss, as the Brits say, disseminating secret sources to spin a fun and alarming tale? Time will tell, but gosh, let’s hope the kids are all right.